A place ?
A space ?
A lover ?
A Family ?
A Friend ?
A leader ?
A president ?
A language ?
A tribe ?
An ethnicity ?
An anthem ?
A song ?
A tune ?
A color ?
A flag ?
For me "NO" was the answer for all of the above.
Homeland to me was and will always be a sense of belonging, a sense of responsibility...
It didn't disappear when I left the place, the space, the family and friends. It didn't and will never disappear for whoever was at the chair of power a real leader or a devil tyrant. My job in this life will always be the same.
Did I have a homeland before Feb17 ? Of course I did. Do I still have it after Feb17? Of course I still. Did you ever liked the green flag ? Of course I did, I have always carried a green flag pin in my luggage sense I left Libya. I have never wore it. But I keep it there hiding some where. It is a sign to that sense of belonging, it was never a matter what color or shape was it, it was just a sign. Do I still carry it? Of course I do, but now it is stained with both the blood of the forever alive brothers the Martyrs, and the ashes of their burned souls, burned parts of my homeland. Both the red blood and the black ashes were necessary to raise high in the sky my forever bigger belonging the Islamic sign! ... The white star and the crescent.
Then, what difference Feb17 made for me? A lot ! That sense of belonging and responsibility went inflating like crazy in "me". Wiped me in the way. There was no more space for "me" in my life in the last six months, only that sense grew and grew as if there is no one else living in there except it. That sense was really nasty, selfish in its growth but I know that was necessary to keep it growing. It was part of me and it was stupid to suppress it or hold it back. I embraced it. I gave it as much as I can to let it grow. I was doing it while I am totally aware and satisfied. I lost many things in the path, but I considered those things trivial. What mattered most was to keep myself sane.
Ok, Congratulation for keeping sane! Am I back now, did I have more space for "me" in me now? Kind of, the process is going on slowly but steadily.
So what next, will my responsibilities be easier to apply now? I expect and hope so. Will this make my life easier? Well, I don't think so. Despite the fact that the responsibilities are easier to apply now but my life will turn more difficult. How is that ? Because now I have a much larger space to work in. Much bigger work can be achieved to build, therefore more efforts are needed to apply. Less rest and more hard work are in the way.
Allah is the Greatest! Thank you Allah. By the name of Allah we start ...
الله أكبر
اللهم لك الحمد والشكر
بسم الله
