Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Confession: Wedding, Yes ... White dress, No...!

I liked this "congrats" handshake it feels so warm

My mom needed to play mother-in law role last night, she very rarely needs to play that role. I had a good laugh while hearing the details, I played sister-in law role too when I was laughing, lol.

Yesterday was my brother's wedding. It is still a custom in Libyan wedding to have separated party for men and women, No mix, but there is this new ( not really new , it has been going for years now ) stupid tradition of wedding when the groom enter the the hall of the women party and walk in hand in hand in front of the guests who are all women, then to take a seat beside his bride and spend time together taking pictures and having dinner and sometimes even dancing in front of the women crowd !!!

I was never able to comprehend this event, I always used to say if the party is mixed then I will allow the groom to enter but I will always feel it so odd to see the groom in a hall stacked with only women! And I will definitely not allow it for my man, but that is another issue because I know I have a lot of strange believes about my dream wedding. Strange by the measures of our current society. It is that strange that if people know about it, their their suspecion about my craziness will be converted to a clear fact .. To give a clue,  I don't have the white dress dream fror my wedding!!! Wedding, Yes , white dress No ... I've kept this fact hidden for sometime now , even my mom who is so close to me, only knew about it only recently. I was hiding it because she herself still keep her white dress in her closet for memories of her day.

To make it clear, I wouldn't say I will never wear it, I'm not that silly or superficial to reject a good man because he has a white dress dream and want mt to wear it for the wedding. But simply I don't have this dream, and wish one day if Allah has a plan for me to have a wedding party, I wish it will be without the white dress , and by the way it is not that I want to have the same dress but with different color. No,  it is more deep than that idea. Will keep what I wishto dress for my wedding for another time.

Ok, after this big confession let's go back to my broher, he was telling me during his engagement period how his girl insisted and wanted him to enter the hall of the wedding party to spend time in front of her guests, and how he felt uncomfortable about it. He tried hardly to convince her , she was good in everything , but stubborn regarding this matter, and same way was my brother's rejection to this idea.

We as a family don't usually interefer with this matter, for example in the wedding of my previous two brothers ,one of them entered the women hall the other didn't, but back then, there were no conflicts with their brides. But this time it was different, there was a conflict, between my brother and his bride.
I remember one time his girl called me hoping that I will convince him, and the poor girl she didn't know that she is ringing the wrong number. But I didn't let her down anyway, and tried to reach a compromising solution,  I told her I will convince him to enter that private bride room which is available in each wedding hall and they can spend sometime taking pictures or do whatever they want away from the women crowd.

Anyway, days have gone and finally came the critical moments last night. As my mom was telling when they arrived to the wedding hall and as it was planed to spend sometime inthe private side-room, they were surprised with the bride walking-out to the reception of the hall and asking my brother to walk in to the hall together ... My brother get surprised and confused and with all the mixed feelings he had at that moment he just paused.
As I said my mom wouldn't interfere if he wanted that thing to happen, yet she know he doesn't. She stood-up and said, if that will happen then I am leaving the hall !  ( With angry face ). My other tow sister-in law was watching with surprise, they have never seen my mom taking such an action, she was always nice and polite. That was because she never needed to take what might look as impolite by our society measures.

I actually was laughing an evil laugh hearing the story, lol. Just my main concern was how did the bride managed to walk in with empty hands back to her guests, that would be really embarrassing , but luckily the private room was beside the reception, they stepped to the private room, and things went just as planned, but the poor bride she must had been disappointed.

Inshallah,this will be the first and only conflict they have in their life. My previous two brothers were blessed with their wives and both of my sister in-law were like daughters to my mom, I wish that my youngest brother and his bride will also have the same blessing and even more.

PS: first post I write through iPhone, after al-fajer , Silver Spring, MD.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

The day when a butterfly landed on my shoulder!

I was out today at a water fountain near my school. I was  taking pictures for Quran the holy book for a project I joined and enjoy among few other friends on a facebook group. While I was deeply involved in my project I heard a voice asking in pure classical Arabic,

هل تريدين المساعدة Do you need some help ?

I looked to myself my backpack on the edge of the fountain , I put the holy book over the bag, and I was trying to hlod it straight by one hand and holding my phone camera by the other hand. I definitely looked as someone who needs help, yet I answered, No with a smile. We continued talking in classical Arabic. A freshman Malysian student in the Arabic department at George Washington University. He speaks the classical Arabic very well. We talked about the Arabic language and the different accent in the Arabic countries. Also We discussed Islam and life in Malysia. Was short but nice talk.  While we were finishing a butteryfly landed on my shoulder, it stayed still for few seconds, and then it flew away. Few seconds and  it came back and stayed there for several minutes. I liked it and handed my phone to the  young man and asked him to take pictures for it, while I am enjoying standing still and looking at the big  butterfly. It actually didn't move till I touched it lightly with my hand. I never experienced that before , it was nice peaceful feelings. I felt in contact with the butterfly!

While leaving I asked him what is your name he said ....... , then  he asked what's your name I said ....... .
Oh! that means Inspiration, right? he said , nice meaningful name.I replyed yes it is, and I asked what does your name mean?
He said nothing , it has no meaning , it is just a word invented by my parents, it has no meaning. He sounded a kind of disappointed. I replyed with a smile don't worry you will be the one who creat a meaning for your name.  I saluted him, فرصة سعيدة nice to meet you , Assalm Alikum ...

That was my second conservation in Arabic in Silver Spring ( the first one was in Arabic Grocery Store ) but it was the first conversation by the classical Arabic.

Now, why do you think the butterfly landed on me ... I think it was just tired from a long flight and wanted to rest on some peaceful place which happened to be my shoulder!
I am the fountain of peace