Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Confession: Wedding, Yes ... White dress, No...!

I liked this "congrats" handshake it feels so warm

My mom needed to play mother-in law role last night, she very rarely needs to play that role. I had a good laugh while hearing the details, I played sister-in law role too when I was laughing, lol.

Yesterday was my brother's wedding. It is still a custom in Libyan wedding to have separated party for men and women, No mix, but there is this new ( not really new , it has been going for years now ) stupid tradition of wedding when the groom enter the the hall of the women party and walk in hand in hand in front of the guests who are all women, then to take a seat beside his bride and spend time together taking pictures and having dinner and sometimes even dancing in front of the women crowd !!!

I was never able to comprehend this event, I always used to say if the party is mixed then I will allow the groom to enter but I will always feel it so odd to see the groom in a hall stacked with only women! And I will definitely not allow it for my man, but that is another issue because I know I have a lot of strange believes about my dream wedding. Strange by the measures of our current society. It is that strange that if people know about it, their their suspecion about my craziness will be converted to a clear fact .. To give a clue,  I don't have the white dress dream fror my wedding!!! Wedding, Yes , white dress No ... I've kept this fact hidden for sometime now , even my mom who is so close to me, only knew about it only recently. I was hiding it because she herself still keep her white dress in her closet for memories of her day.

To make it clear, I wouldn't say I will never wear it, I'm not that silly or superficial to reject a good man because he has a white dress dream and want mt to wear it for the wedding. But simply I don't have this dream, and wish one day if Allah has a plan for me to have a wedding party, I wish it will be without the white dress , and by the way it is not that I want to have the same dress but with different color. No,  it is more deep than that idea. Will keep what I wishto dress for my wedding for another time.

Ok, after this big confession let's go back to my broher, he was telling me during his engagement period how his girl insisted and wanted him to enter the hall of the wedding party to spend time in front of her guests, and how he felt uncomfortable about it. He tried hardly to convince her , she was good in everything , but stubborn regarding this matter, and same way was my brother's rejection to this idea.

We as a family don't usually interefer with this matter, for example in the wedding of my previous two brothers ,one of them entered the women hall the other didn't, but back then, there were no conflicts with their brides. But this time it was different, there was a conflict, between my brother and his bride.
I remember one time his girl called me hoping that I will convince him, and the poor girl she didn't know that she is ringing the wrong number. But I didn't let her down anyway, and tried to reach a compromising solution,  I told her I will convince him to enter that private bride room which is available in each wedding hall and they can spend sometime taking pictures or do whatever they want away from the women crowd.

Anyway, days have gone and finally came the critical moments last night. As my mom was telling when they arrived to the wedding hall and as it was planed to spend sometime inthe private side-room, they were surprised with the bride walking-out to the reception of the hall and asking my brother to walk in to the hall together ... My brother get surprised and confused and with all the mixed feelings he had at that moment he just paused.
As I said my mom wouldn't interfere if he wanted that thing to happen, yet she know he doesn't. She stood-up and said, if that will happen then I am leaving the hall !  ( With angry face ). My other tow sister-in law was watching with surprise, they have never seen my mom taking such an action, she was always nice and polite. That was because she never needed to take what might look as impolite by our society measures.

I actually was laughing an evil laugh hearing the story, lol. Just my main concern was how did the bride managed to walk in with empty hands back to her guests, that would be really embarrassing , but luckily the private room was beside the reception, they stepped to the private room, and things went just as planned, but the poor bride she must had been disappointed.

Inshallah,this will be the first and only conflict they have in their life. My previous two brothers were blessed with their wives and both of my sister in-law were like daughters to my mom, I wish that my youngest brother and his bride will also have the same blessing and even more.

PS: first post I write through iPhone, after al-fajer , Silver Spring, MD.


khadijateri said...

I wore blue jeans and a white t-shirt on my wedding day. My husband was wearing a suit. He was so surprised to see me in jeans and a t-shirt. But he married me anyway. Nowadays he complains if I wear jeans and I tell him 'Shut up! When you married me I was wearing jeans' To this day, I do not regret my choice to not wear a stupid white dress. It's just not me.

abdullah SH said...

alf mabroook to ur brother & inchallah happy life for him & his wife

about ths me pass same moment when my sister married & shw said " abdullah " u should walk with me entering hall & taking some pictures !! i said no way she said that is my day & u didnt want me sad in this day !! now after nearly 7 years i stll remember that day & how i pass hardest moment in my life infront about 500 women !! yeah libyan gurls including my sister looking angry when we talk about some stupid things always libyan groom do in her wedding !!
atually non ending list from this stupid things !!
about ur mom she choose exact moment to show her new daughrt " red eye " .... LOOOOOL
realy I cant imagin u in ur WEEDING day without white dress !!
i mean for me this is decision belongs to u & him & vice versa for his dress ....


Arak Tree said...

Hello Enlightened spirit

I wish a long happy life for your brother and his wife.

And tell your Mom that Araktree so proud of you and keep it up.


elekomm - إليكــم said...

السلام عليكم

اولاً الف مبروك للعريس

في كثير من الحالات يتدخل الاب والام في خصوصيات العروس والعريس فعندما يقول العريس أو العروس لا أريد كذا يرد عليه الاب او الام ونبدأ في سمع بعض الجمل مثل .....هذا عرس شن يقولوا علينا الناس .....ونبي نفرح بكَِ .....و....و

دامت أيامكم أفراح

ღ♥ღّنسيــمــ ليبياـــღ♥ღ said...

نتخيل ف فستان ازرق وباقة زرقة و كل شئ ازرق ف ازرق

لالا بجد لو فى كيف كسر الالوان حلو ويعتمد ع ذوق الشخص نفسه

بالنسبة للقطة دخول البرنسيس مع البرنسيسة لاااااااااا والف لا


مش ظريفة خالص اللقطة يعني اما هو حينكسف ويترفع الظغط عنده اما حيصير العكس حينسجم ويرتفع الظغط للطرف الاخر

وف الحالتين الضغط مش كويس

مبرووك مبروووك وربي يديم الفرح فى قلوبكم و بيوتكم

Meme said...

enjoy being the sister in law :p

absi said...


may said...

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله

كل عام وانت بخير

والى الله اقرب واقرب واقرب


elekomm - إليكــم said...

السلام عليكم اهل الدار

أضحى مبارك و كل عام وانتم بخير

dusk till dawn said...

salam sis
we wish u a very healthy and bright eid . hope it brought u happiness and cheer,srounding wt the love once