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Sunday, December 12, 2010

Not abroad, it is inward !

Taken by me, in Bathesda, MD

Yes, It is me ... 
Still surviving ...
Run through a lot since my arrival to my new place ... 
It was not friendly with me as the Puget Sound area of the Northwest . Yet, I am getting along with it and start to kind of like the hectic rhythm of life here.

The sentence "Run through a lot " includes all of my life aspects; training, studying, health, and personal life. Truly the experience I got in the last four months was like a concentrated package for what I had in the last two years abroad.

Some moments felt so tough as if I am breaking down and losing myself, most of the other moments was blessings and made me grow and grow inward.
This journey, most people think it is a journey of studying and living abroad away from home, but I always believed it is a journey of flying and ascending inward, to get closer to the inland, and to look at this magnificent creation of Allah in each and everyone of us. And that is another living paradox of my life.

Two particular moments of near death experience only forty two days apart was so awakening that although it was tough , yet whenever I think of those moments I thank Allah million times for letting me living it. 

Don't worry I am well now that was during months of August and September, including the holey month of Ramadan.

 I actually was blogging tweeting, and Facebooking, during that time, maybe I was in stage of denial and trying to prove to myself that I am fine. But quickly realized that I am not, and that's when my blog went into a stage of hibernation, when I started taking care of that wounded self of mine.

Now to be honest I don't want for this place to hibernate again after this post but I can't give false promises ...  

So, I will try my best to hold this blog up while flying this journey as that sparrow in the photo above trying to hold a straw and fly with it. That what I really want and guess will happen even if my next post was after another few months ...

Yes, I am fine , ElhamdoAllah ...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Salam, good luck living paradox and keep your goal in sight. Rabbi yahfdhak.

dusk till dawn said...

salam sis.
we all know life is tough,and we learn by it every day, i know how u feeling. in the past year i spent most of my work and time away from home,do not ever feel down or give up. with ur self confidence u will shine, and the hard wsork will pay ,always pleasure to read ur blog.
best regards with snow flakes from romania

ibeebarbie said...

Salam Living Paradox,

Your willingness to express your pure vulnerability with us is something we are truly honored to read. May you flight journey continue taking you to that place that only Allah has for each and every one of us. A sweetness and purity we only truly gain through our daily flights. Your bravery to share your wing spand with us, is a comfort and encouragement to do the same. Thank you.