A book hug!

I have been and will continue to be away from the blogsphere for a quite long time, or may be u will find me after few days blogging agian, I don't really know!!!

Alot of things have happened and other things are still happening in my life, I am not sure if I will be able to blog about it . I am not even sure why am I blogging right now .

May be coz I don't want to leave this period of my life just blank on my blog. I want to document it even by one short post. Or may be I am blogging coz I need to. Or may be coz I need people to remember me in their prayers, so plz anyone pass by here remember me in ur prayers.

The only thing which I am sure about is that the picture above explains to a great extent my condition in these days.

Inspite of the fact that Books are one of the source of my suffering during this period of my life; still books, books, and nothing but books; were the only thing which succeded in smoothing away some of the pain.

Come my dear book , come my precious come, hug me.

لانقنك...!

حصيلة عشرة -بكسر العين- سبع شهور مع الشراقة

.......

شرقاوية- غرباوية

نحن - حني

نابيدي - أني

كنك - خيرك

بكل بكسر الباء والكاف - بكل بضم الباء والكاف

واجد - هلبا

عالي واطي - زنقي دحدح
هرجة - دوشة

حمو - نو

مخربطة - مكعفصة

بكرة - غضوة

مجاش - مازال ماجش أوقاعدمجاش

مرايف - مستاحش

مرايف واحدة من الكلمات الي مش عادية بكل

نركب عليك - نبصر عليك

ليش - علاش

شوري - ليا

يان علي - حي عليا

ياحليلك - ياسعدودك أو صحا ليدك

سراق - خناب
حولي - خروف
بوشبو- زقرلو

صبي - أوقف

عدي - امشي

بحث - شوف أو اشبح

يزقب - ينقز

ارجي - استني

شيل - قيم

قمعزي - قعمزي
تبرم - تلف

عزقتها - لوحتها

دز - ابعث

يباوع - يطلع لبرا بش يشوف

نرطن - ندوي بلهجة غير مفهومة

نبص- انفرمط
يعوكر- يلعوص

لاورا - لتالي
بنة - ريحة أو صنة

.
بوتاس - واركينة

كباية - طاسة

كاس - مالقي

حكية - حكة

ابريق - براد

بكرج - سزوة أو بكرج

شكارة - برزة أو كيسة أو شكارة

طفايا - طبلة

.
الوكال- الماكلة

تن - طن

نص - نفص

مكرونة جارية - مكرونة مبكبكة

عصبان شمس - عصبان مقدد

قازوزة - مشروب

مقطع - رشدة برمة
بطيخ - قلعاوي

ماندلينا - الليم الكيني أو اليوسيفي

برتقال - ليم

ليم - ليم عصري

بكيوة - قرعة حمراء

بشكوط - بشكطي

الفحم - بياض

.

نقرم - ننتش

يطرش- يرجع أو يرد

.
دبش - حوايج
قبالي - صندل

صبات - شبشب

كاويش - سبيدرو

كراع - رجل

جمة - قصة

مساكة - توكة

روب - قفطان الحوش

سير - سبتة

.
عقد - خناق

نبيلة - سوار

دندونة - خرصة

.
شمسية - سحابة أو مظلة

بنينة - بيرو

قلم - لابس أو قلم

.
بطاح - طانطا

قلع - عكارية

فريتشا- فليتشا

.
شبردق - سياج

المارشة - شرشور

القزاز - مرش

سيمسيمة - المرشة الصغيرة

المادة - المرشبيدي
سالطو - مطب

عمود - بالو

حيطة - رشادة

ساس - حيط

.
باتي - بوي

العويل - الصغار

جتي - حناي أو جداي

متزوزة - متزوجة
سمح - اقنين

بلبول- سحنون

متبلد- بليد

راجل صامت - راجل بارد

وأخيرا وليس آخرا الكلمة التي خشت في خاطري ولم أجد لها بديل غرباوي

.

...لانقنك

.

لانقنك يا أ.أ. لشهلولية

:)

الي عنده مايضيف يتفضل ، الموضوع قابل للتعديل والاضافة..

An update from here and there

Many of my friends keep asking me about the routine of my life here, and they are not satisfied by my short answers. I might look talkative here in my blog but not in real life. I will try in this post to lighten up some corners of my daily life activities here.

As almost all of my time is spent in the test prep. center, it is becoming more and more like home. But sometimes I get fade up from being in the same place so I move around and try some other places for study, here is one of them :It is the Suzzallo Library in the univesity of Washington, not so far from my test prep. center.

I tried this place first when it was recommended to me by one of my friends, she was describing it as a very quite peaceful place, and as I do like the quite atmosphere, I thought why not, let's try it for a change. Ok, here I am sitting and pretending to study....... but Nop ....who can study in this place, it is so huge and beautiful, it looks and feels like the school of witchcraft in Harry Potter, no need to say that instead of studying, I spent the time taking pictures for the place and for my friend while she was studying, and she was looking askance at me and I almost heard her talking to herself: "silly stupid girl... I shouldn't have brought her with me to this place" lol, that was just the first day, then I started to go there alone from time to time just for a change, and I started to look at my books and not to the surroundings.

But most of the study I do is in the study center, which is much more humble and feel more like home, manythings happen in the study center, people studying for USMLE spend from 6 to 12 hours per day in this center, so u can imaginne what they need to do there, eat, drink, pray, everything. The study is so overwhelming it takes them from their daily life, I think in this period of stressful preparation for the exams people become very vulnerable, and they are at risk of unveiling a psycological and behavioural probleams, I ask Allah if anything will go wrong at least to keep my sanity solid during and after this experience.

To give you all a clue about how the time is so precious for those who study for this exam, (those supposed to include me) , I will show the picture of this girl,, and first of all I emphasize that I have a complete respect towards her. I put the picture just to give an idea how people still able to mange and organize their lives whatever was hard the circumstances they are going through, she insisted to take care of herself and enjoy whatever she is going to have after the study hours for that day, as one of my friends said : she is truly a lady.

Yes, what u see is right, those are hair curlers, and she put them while she was studying at the test preparation center, I mean she put this in a public place not a private one, and she didn't care about what other people might think of her. I find it silly now how we complain that we can't find time to take care of ourselves, sleeping, dressing well, giving the proper time for prayer, eating , cooking for ourselves, shaving, or whatever....... get up people, have a life!

( Note: Miss class my friend back home, asked me to not put this picture, may be she is right, but I really have a good intentions in doing this, and I tried to put the blurr effect so I only reveal what I wanted to reveal, words when supported with pictures are more strong, the point is not about the girl itself, but how people should learn to live their lives, if anyone think that I should not share it, please express ur opnion, and I will consider it)

Last month April was the Tulip's festival here in Seattle, and unfortunately I missed it, I myself tend to be disorganized sometimes ( just sometimes) , and I mess things up, I really feel sorry to miss it, may be next year if I stayed at this place, I will make sure not to miss it inshAllah.

Regading my indoor and out door activities which I pointed out in my last post, (for those who was curious enough to ask ) , these activities are not big things to be mentioned, just small things whcih u do seeking for a change, sometimes just a walk in the park is enough for me, a phone call to a friend, sometimes a movie, other times buying goods at a nice grocery store like this one

Or may be just going to the kitchen without any previous plans and come up with something, and enjoy sharing it later with my friend, this was what I have done yesterday, Coffee chocolate Walnut Cake, it might look messy, but it was delicious:)

Last but not least, being abroad make you feel some how insecure, eventhough you know you are in the safest city and the safest place, u still feel a kind of insecure, in order to fight this feeling inside me, ( yeah I have to mange every feeling I experience, and beat it off, I am trying as much as I can to not let the negative feelings pile up ), for this I looked for a new keychain, a special keychain, and with some careful searching I got what I wanted, can u guess what is this? ( the thing beside the fluffy pink teddy bear)

That is enough for today, back to study, don't forget to leave a comment :)

Ayham

The study is keeping me away from this place, but every once in a while I keep a passion to come back here. That passion which push me to type some few words, sometimes meaningful words, sometimes not, but in one way or another it gives me a kind of fulfillment, which I can't find in any other place.

The study is going fine, six hours in the morning at the study center then back home to take some rest and open the on-line materials to continue the torturing jouney. Ok, this is not moaning, it is jsut a description of what am I going through. This was my choice and I respect my choices, but there is always part of me which is skeptic and try to play the cynical voice in my life. And from time to time this part starts to moan and complian. I managed to turn this voice off with logical and rational reasoning. And whenever I fail to do so, I give it the space to carry out it's creativity. I let it drive me in it's crazy plans. So far they aren't that crazy, actually I am enjoying them. They either indoor or outdoor activities. Although these activities eat up some of my precious time, they do give me extra boost of energy to let me continue this hard path which I drew for myself.

.

In this post I would like to have a stop and say thank you for my parents, family, and friends who have been so supporative lately. Special thanx to Miss Class my best friend back home, I am so grateful for your supportive phone calls.

Also I would like to thank the small Libyan community around me here, for everyone who keeps checking on me, and special thanx to the couple who were generous enough to send me that extraordinay dish which I include it's picture in this post,. They have been blessed with a babyboy lately , inshAllah he will be from assalheen. And the biggest appreciation goes to my friend and her husband who both keep checking on me regularly on everyday bases either by a visit or a phone call. I don't need to say her name, she knows herself.

.

Everyday I thank ALLAH for surrounding me with such a wonderful people. Wherever I go he grants me with these kind of soul-lifting highly spiritual kind of people. I ask Allah to give me the power and strength to continue in this battle, and keep myself up to meet their expectations.

Now I invite u all to share with me this delicious traditional Libyan dish of Couscous, feel like home :)

To have a similar experience in people as mine keep this Doaa with you

اللهم اني أسألك حبك وحب من أحبك وحب عمل يقربني الى حبك , اللهم ما أعطيتني مما أحب فاجعله قوة لي فيما تحب وماذويت عني مما أحب فاجعله فراغا لي فيما تحب.

by the way "Ayham" is the name of the babyboy :)

Spring in UW

The pictures were taken by the camera of my mobile. I aplogize for their poor quality. Just wanted to share the spectacular views with you, hope that you will enjoy them.

.

Is Seattle really the rainy city?

Nothing can help like a breath of a fresh slight breeze, on a quiet beach, when someone's nerves are on the edge...

It seems that this space of mine has been abandoned lately. I thought today that it merits some attention. To tell that time shortage was the cause for this desertion, wouldn't be entirely accurate. Writing was always and will continue to be a sort of like breathing to me. So let's say that I'm either getting other ways to respire, or I'm not giving myself the room to breathe properly. Anyway whichever is the truth; here I'm apologizing for the faithful visitors of this page, and trying to rebuild the "rapport" I once had with this corner of mine.

A lot of things are happening lately; their rhythms sometimes seem to be more rapid than what I used to be capable to follow. And I dropped off the beats a couple of time, but I managed to stand up and harmonize with the upcoming beats of the next rhyme.

I have joined the school Journal lately and participated in one edition. It is not a serious writing, just for fun, and I'm enjoying it. However I'm not sure that I can continue in it, for it needs some sort of commitment. And I'm the queen of "disavowal" when it comes to things that I do for fun, so let's just wait and see.

The Journal club is really good place to unwind from the overwhelming study atmosphere that I started lately. It's a self-study program in which you are required to spend about 6 hours a day, for a period of 7 to 9 months; these hours are just the requirement. In fact I need much more than this to really cover the materials on time. This was not a surprise for me, I already know about this before I came here; though things feel different when you start it. People have always been the main source of motivations for my work and study; unfortunately in this program I am trapped in my desk alone, stuck just with my books and DVDs. Of course there are people studying in the same lab, but they gave you the impression of being unapproachable, they either seem to be haughty or dead. May be I look the same! but I'm not aware of it!

Yet, this was just my first few days, I am sure I will have a different opinion in a couple of weeks…at least I hope so.

Last but not least, about these pictures, which as it's evident weren't captured in a perfect time, no sunset (my favorite moment), or sunrise (my second favorite time); for the reason that it wasn't taken on a planned trip. The story is that last week I had a test. And on the noon and the evening before the test day, I don't usually study. Therefore to loosen up my stretched nerves, and to lighten up the stress, I went out for a walk in the vicinity, and capriciously I wind up taking a bus to its last stop. Of course, completely aware of where it was going -thankfully I still have a sane thinking- and I end up rewarding myself with some free moments of leisure.

That's all for today.
Thank you.
Hope You Have Enjoyed This Walk With Me
.

STOP

.
Take a deep breath...

.
Listen...

.
Listen carefully...

.
What do you hear?
…
…
…
I hear
The dryer's machine hums.
A car's engine rumbles while it passes in the nearby street.
A tapping steps, most probably of a high heel shoes, a person walking in the passageway underneath my window.
What else?
A sigh from ..."me"
There are some other unrecognizable sounds that I can feel, but it's hard for me to describe in words.
Ah!!!

I almost forgot…The clicking of the keyboard bottons while I am typing these words.

...
So...stop for a moment and tell us or just just keep it for yourself…

What do you hear?

.

.