Giving up !!!

Why we humans find it so hard to gave up on things?
and that sometimes didn't apply only on "things " but extend to our relations with people.
N.B.: don't wonder about the relation of Sony Erricson mobile phone picture with the following bla bla bla, just continue reading and find out !!!
since my childhood as I guess most of you had have experienced friends separation, due to many causes, the most common cause for me was moving from one place to another.
and that kind of separation affected me deeply, I still remeber my chilhood best friend her name was SEKAB she was from Alsham, her parent were mixed arab one from Palestine and the other from Lebanon, or Jordan, I don't know exactly coz u know in childhood these origins doesn't matter at all, and still doesn't matter to me in my adulthood.
we spent our 1st six years of primary school together, it was only six years and my heart still sqeezing when I remeber the day when we had to leave our place to come back to Libya home for the last time, the separation was so painful, all the excitment of coming home couldn't sooth it, never met with her again ever since.
That even though was a normal life experience, but unfortunately it affected my all friendship later on, in fact I get along with people very easily, but have friends very scarcely, not because there is not much enough good people around, there are many, but I have that ever lasting fear of separation which keep pooping up his face in front of me.
but I realized later that having few friends is more worse coz ur loyality will be bigger and the relation will be deeper and having one of those few friends lost is a catastrophy, and it happened to me again about 4 years back, a cherished friend moved away!!!
but we survive at the end, that is the life.
what brought all this up is that I am still having, from time to time, that feeling of buzzeled scared soul, while I am waiting for the never ending process of my paper work to finish.
and reach the catastrophic moment of separation, and this time not from friends only but from brothers, relatives, friends, colleagues, a life !!!
Am I exaggerating ? it might be an exaggeration , but writing that makes me better.
back to my mobile, which was the main trigger for all this post, it was a good friend for more than five years , and never let me down, even now when I finally gave up and agree to change it, the problem was not because it bothered me, but because it started to bother my phone callers (is it right to say phone caller in English ?) in the last month, who had suffered an agony while trying to recognize my voice through a weired jamming sound, although I was hearing them clearly, what a loyal phone !!!
my Mom with my dear brother who were trying to help me geting over the love and loyality to my mobile phone, were really so brilliant to bring a phone which is very similar in it's shape and colors to my previous one and of course a Sony Erricson, and present it to me as a birth day gift yesterday, yes it was my day :)
which is might ( might in english reflect just a small possibility) be and only might be the real source of all this doom.
and yes my friends I feel much better now :) writing is always work for me.
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this is my new toy:

Aseeda for you !

I would like to thank you all, for your lovely words of congratulation for my first baby niece ( no name yet ! ) , and because I am too generous that I think words are not enough to show my thankfulness, so I decided to serve you the picture of this traditional sweet delicious dish which we use to serve in these occasions for our congratulators.

it is the usual Asseda, sure all of you know, but just garnished in a slightly different way.

I would prefer it with butter and honey, instead of olive oil and rub (rub is a syrup extracted from dates).

I will be grateful if every one of you let me know how he/she would prefer it, so I can serve you well.
and if there are other ways to serve it apart from the two I mentioned, I would like to know it.

thanx in advance

Officially an aunt :)

اسبح واسبح واسبح

في محيط دافئ

هادئ

ملأه الحب

لا أعرف منذ متى ولم يكن يهمني أن أعرف

إلى أن جاء يوم استيقظت فوجدت كل ماحولى يتقلص

يا إلهي ماذا يحدث؟

شئ ما يدفعني الى حيث لاأدري

لم يكن لي خيار إلاٌ أن اتشبث وبقوة

آااه لكن التقلصات تزداد

دقات قلبي تتسارع

اشعر بالاختناق

ولكني سأستمر

سأقاوم

حتى آخر نبض لي

لن أسمح لهم بطردي من ملاذي

فجأة

توقف كل شئ

لم أصدق

لقد فعلتها

نعم

لقد أثمرت مقاومتى

عاد كل شئ كما كان

الهدوء

السكون

ورقصت رقصة الفرح

لكن لحظات فرحي لم تدم طويلا

فما أن التقطت أنفاسي

حتى باغتني نصل حاد واخترق جدار ملاذي الجميل ومزقه

تسرب محيطي المائي من الثقب

انتشر ضؤ أزرق ساطع

اجتاحتني موجة صقيع

ففررت الى ركن قصي

ولكن لم يجدي فراري نفعاً

فلم يعد المحيط مناسبا لي

دقات قلبي تتباطأ

هل هي حقا النهاية؟

أم هي البداية؟؟؟

فجأة انتشلتني يد قوية

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صقيع

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ضوء

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ضجيج

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صرخت بما تبقى لي من قوة

معترضة

واء... واء... واء...

وعاد قلبي ينبض من جديد

May 10th at 11:30 am

was the date of birth of my first niece

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who made me an aunt for the first time, wow, what a great feeling, she was delivered by cesarean section 10 days after her expected date of delivery, and after failed medical induction of normal childbirth.

this cute baby girl was really refusing to come out to our world

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what a stubborn girl !!!

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from where do you think she inherited her stubborn nature?

Is it from her aunt :)

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elhamdoallah ... my sister-in-law and my niece come out safely from this 9 months and 10 days journey.

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Airplane, Depart, Plan !

I will depart tomorow from Libya ( home ) for few days, full of hope and expectations, both good and bad.

I believe whatever happen is the best, even if I couldn't see it as the best for the time being ( I keep repeating this to myself ).

I made du3aa, and I believe that Allah will make the best for me, and will make me able to accept whatever happens.

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NEED YOUR DU3AA TOO :)

My morning visitor !!!

Today's morning, as the sun was shining and it was too hot, so I decided to invest the best of solar energy available, by using our solar powered laundry dryer.

for all who are not familiar with this kind of dryer, I would like to intoduce it for you.
This dryer is the cheapest and the safest for the environment of all kind of laundry dryer machines available on the market, I can bet on this, and the instructions for using it, is so uncomplicated.
It simply consist of a rope or thread called the clothline, dangled highly between two objects in the outside yard, and then the wet clothes is hanged on this line and fixed with pins, cloth pins.
It is as simple as that, and I guarantee you nothing can smell like clothes dried with the direct heat from the sun, and the drying power of warm breezes!!!
Anyway what I am trying to tell here is, when I get out to invest the solar energy and hang our laundry I met my morning visitor, he was hanging there on the clothline waiting for my camera!!!

look at him

lovely chameleon

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here when he started his acrobat show

when he finished he was just leaving, but I did't get enough, so I asked him to stay

but he get angry and shouted at me

I was afraid so I just said :( okey thank you for the show, see u next time,bye bye big guy

don't blame me for this pcts if u hate Bukeshash( chameleon) , coz I am fascinated about dinosaurs and that is the best similar creature to them at my era, and in my area :)

My dear sisters be like Bohessa !!!

As you all read in my last post about my agony to get a specific paper from one of our administrative sector, and the good news is that: I got it ... at last.

And as part of my continuous paradox show which I used to watch in the path of my life, here it comes the nice part of the show, which shaded away all the last agony.

I needed that specific paper for study application in a center located in the north west part of the globe, yes I am heading to the state, and what I want to say is that it takes me only two phone calls and one email to get my application done, and the papers have been packaged and sent back to me through the DHL service, and I am tracking it right now through the net, how exciting !!!.

It is terrific how the system there makes human life easier, yes the grass is always more green on the other side, I felt that today, but I wasn't glad because I want it to be green here, in my hometown, under my feet.

Now let me move on to the main reason to blog today ,which is to share with you my crush on this man, it is not a new crush , but it seems that the extra time which I have from some few days off from my work gave me the opportunity to follow some of my hobbies which is net surfing , and one of my friends on facebook has added him so she brought him back to my attention.

Sheikh Hamza Yusuf how great is this man, just watch the video and you will understand the title of my post, if any one interested in the whole talk , you can find it in youtube , or in facebook here enjoy :)

I should go to California as he is living there :)

It is just a diary!

Warning: for those who don't like to read personal issue, don't waste your time on this, it is very personal, and in some how silly.
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Long time ago I discovered that our administrative system is suck, but today I discovered that it suck suck suck suck and suck.
really depressive ...
how slowly things are running is ok with me, I get used to it, but my documents to be lost twice that is unbearable, to wait for one paper ,(which actually can be done within few minutes), for a whole month then the employer telling me in complete dullness: sorry your documents are lost you have to bring another copies.
I think I should have a Nobel Prize of peace, for being patient with the employer, and receiving his sorry statement with Crest extra whitening smile, I really don't know how I kept myself calm, may be coz I have no other choice.
Ok that is one of my down, and don't want to talk much about it, just want to mention that the paper is very important to me, and I really had the desire to punch that man in his face if I could.
I think this is one of the reasons which kill Libyan youth from inside, coz while I was calm and smiling, felt something inside me tearing; do you think our administrative system will ever improve??? I believe it will, but till then if any one has any advice how to overcome this inefficiency apart from using crest smile and patience technique, don't hesitate to give it.

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Trying to overcome this depressive event in my day, I took a ride through Tripoli roads at sunset time, my brother and his wife accompanied me, and he was the driver, when I do this kind of trips I try to look after the routine views in our daily life and lighten it, to lift up my spirit.
I wanted to share with you some of these views which really lifted me up:
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.The first one was for a white Toyota car, which was driving around and on both sides of it was written in a green bold letters الا أنت يارسول الله ( Except you the prophet of Allah ), the car's view touched me deeply, it is a way of smart silent remonstration.
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.The second one was for a disabled girl in her wheelchair with her mom pushing the chair in Alsaha alkhadra (Green Square), the excitement look over the girl's face was amazing, how an ordinary stroll can brighten up this girl's life.
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.The third view was in front of one of the toy's shop, and there were an over crowed of cars, and while we was trying to pass the traffic jam, a young girl, I hardly give her 7 or 8 years old, asked my brother to stop the car using her hand, and he stop it, we thought she was trying to cross the road, and for our surprise she was signing for another little girl in the opposite side of the road encouraging her to cross the road as we stopped, we really fall in laugh and excitement from her move, this young girl was really brave to stop a car for her girlfriend to pass, a friendship in it's delightful sight.

thank you for being patient and finished reading this long post , and now I have another battle to fight tomorrow at work, I have to have a rest, good night, and don't forget to leave a comment :)